By Halima Imam
When we say “gender equality,” the official definition points to a world where men and women have equal access to opportunities, resources, and rewards. It’s the ideal of fairness: the right for both genders to live with dignity, free from discrimination. However, for many of us, that term has taken on a whole new meaning — one that often sounds like a battle cry for competition. The competition for “who’s the boss,” “who’s making more money,” and “who gets the last word” has somehow overshadowed the true essence of gender equality.
The drama, though, begins right in our homes, o! These days, even in Nigerian families, there’s this silent tug-of-war for power between husband and wife. Back in the day, men were expected to be the breadwinners, the providers, the ones who “owned” the role of paying all the bills. But now? Some men are stepping back, folding their arms, and saying, “We’re going 50/50, o! Woman, it’s your turn to pay the light bill!” And the reaction from our women? A solid “You people are not just mad but also broke for saying that nonsense!”
Gender equity is however about creating fair treatment and access to opportunities for all genders, recognizing that some individuals may need additional support to truly level the playing field. This isn’t about erasing differences between men and women; it’s about valuing these differences while providing everyone with the resources they need to succeed.
For women in particular, gender equity has a profound impact. When women have equitable access to education, healthcare, and economic opportunities, they can break out of the cycles of poverty that affect generations. Women’s education, for instance, has been linked to reduced rates of child mortality, greater economic stability, and healthier families. Studies also show that when women are part of the workforce, economies grow stronger, and communities become more resilient.
In politics and leadership, women bring distinct perspectives that foster inclusive decision-making. It’s no secret that women are often more attuned to the issues affecting families and communities, from healthcare to education and environmental sustainability. When women hold leadership roles, their unique insights lead to policies that often prioritize public welfare. This isn’t simply a nice-to-have; it’s essential for creating balanced governance that reflects the needs of the entire population.
Gender equity doesn’t just benefit women; it uplifts everyone. For instance, in the workplace, equitable policies promote healthier working environments where diverse voices are valued. Companies with gender-balanced leadership have been found to perform better financially and to foster innovative, adaptive work cultures. A society that prioritizes gender equity sets the stage for collaborative growth, where talents and resources are optimized for the common good.
In Nigeria, promoting gender equity is vital for us to reach our full potential. We face specific cultural, economic, and social challenges, and addressing these through an equity lens is critical for sustainable development. By ensuring that Nigerian women have equal access to resources, education, and decision-making power, we lay the groundwork for a future where families and communities are empowered to thrive.
So, it’s more than a catchphrase, gender equity is a proven foundation for social progress. It creates conditions where every member of society can contribute their best, making the collective stronger, more resilient, and better positioned to tackle the challenges ahead. The future, as they say, is truly female, but only if that future values and respects equity across all genders.
You see, African women must realize that our journey toward equality differs from that of our sisters in America or Europe. This isn’t about “oppression Olympics” (which gender has suffered more), but rather recognizing the cultural and economic dynamics here in Nigeria. We face unique struggles, ones that need a particular approach, not always a photocopy of Western feminism.
And this 50/50 wahala has some twists that I, for one, have chosen to bow out of! I mean, let’s talk about it. Some of us are already exhausted from balancing home and work, yet now, we should also pick up bricklaying jobs? Because equality? Look, my people, I am too soft for that. Soak-away packing, sand-carrying, pushing wheelbarrows? E no go work o! I won’t be caught dead doing all that abeg.
Ladies, I’m not saying we shouldn’t aim for equality or stand up for ourselves when it counts. But in Nigeria, if the men insist on splitting everything evenly, it may be time to ask, “Are you prepared to be as soft as I am?” Until then, let’s focus on fairness and progress without turning every relationship into a power struggle. After all, equality should bring peace, not who-goes-first on the last spoon of jollof.
And while we’re here, let’s address some of these “competition trends” between men and women. For starters, there’s the “Who controls the TV remote?” saga — that tiny battle is World War III in some homes! Just imagine, Saturday afternoon, you want to watch your Nigerian series with full concentration, but oga wants to watch football. “Equality means we take turns,” he says. My dear, that’s when the real negotiations start.
Then there’s the issue of who should serve food. Some guys now say, “Ahan, it’s all about equality now. You serve me today, and I’ll serve you tomorrow.” Excuse me, sir? So now we’re trading domestic duties? Meanwhile, the women are side-eyeing the men, thinking, “Oga, you’re not about to turn me into your chef on shift duty!
But for real, on a broader level, this whole “competition” mindset has started to spill into the workplace. Men feel like, “Oh, these women are coming for our jobs,” while women are out here thinking, “It’s our time to shine!” Before you know it, harmless office tasks turn into silent face-offs. “Who’s the boss now, huh?” Both genders acting like two opposing parties in the National Assembly.
And, oh, the economy isn’t helping matters. Things are hard, everything is expensive, and all of a sudden, men have flipped the script and started asking for 50/50, as if we weren’t all raised with a certain “provider” mentality. And then, some women clap back, “If you can’t provide, don’t expect me to be your assistant house-help!”
And let’s be real, Nigerian women are on a different wavelength, culturally speaking. We weren’t raised with the mindset that “everything must be 50/50” in the way that Western feminists might argue. Here, we’re more used to balanced roles, everyone having their unique contributions without necessarily needing to split every naira and every chore. But now, with the push for “modern relationships,” some guys think they’re suddenly entitled to break our tradition of chivalry. Abeg, leave me out of that one o; I am not splitting bills and doing head to head with anybody.
The fact is, a healthy pursuit of gender equality in Nigeria doesn’t mean we need to lose our cultural balance. Equality doesn’t mean competition; it’s about fairness and respect. It’s about valuing each other’s contributions, whether it’s earning money or managing the household. And ladies, while we advocate for fair treatment, let’s also remember that it’s okay to let men take on certain responsibilities if that’s what works for us. Nobody should feel the need to prove their “equality” by doing tasks that, frankly, don’t align with our lifestyle or comfort zones.
So here’s my Nigerian advice: Let’s ditch this competition mindset and work toward a real understanding of equality. Let’s talk openly about expectations, find our unique balances, and, most importantly, understand that respect and fairness don’t need to come with a side of rivalry. We’re here to build strong partnerships, not rivalry, because, as they say, a house divided cannot stand. And if that means taking turns with the remote control or letting oga pay for jollof, then by all means, let’s do it with love and light.
